Chill-ax and listen!

by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com

If you haven't heard this expression being used by your child or children you know by now, then perhaps you are really ultra calm and subdued!  Good for you!

One of the absolute pleasures of summer is being able to take it down several notches, letting the rules lapse ever so slightly, chilling and relaxing aka chill-axing.

What's always wonderful is to see how quickly kids can put it into slower mode and whether they want to admit it or not, actually enjoy doing so!

I would argue though that while just the presence of summer sunshine casts a whole new light on just about we do on a daily basis, we likely end up being even more busy in the summer months (many of us), trying to capitalize on every drop of those warm rays.  But I digress!

We've signed our kids up for camp here and there with a week break in between here and there so they can experience the joy of chill-axing.    Of course vacation time is sprinkled in, along with weekend get-aways to try and enjoy every last ray of sun.

In the course of slowing down, we've had the opportunity to do things we don't always have enough time to do properly.  Summer reading, art, gardening.  All these and other activities will be give more of our undivided attention during these two holiday months.   It quickly becomes an interesting study.

In our house, we've institute an hour a day of reading, writing and some light school work, to keep the wheels greased and moving.  In the beginning it was met with a little grinding of teeth by the two older kids, but very quickly they loved it and now take the initiative to do it on their own.

It boils down to one hour of quiet.  It can be split into two 30-minutes sessions or whatever works. 
The sound of silence is heavenly.   It makes all of us appreciate how golden quiet surroundings truly are.
If you consider the noise pollution that dictates are environment today, we truly don't have a minutes' peace.  You know, the kind where you can hear yourself think.  These days it's not even always available at the park. 

Silence is glorious.

I've quietly observed as my kids have grown to appreciate that engaging in one activity with their complete attention is not only possible, but thrilling.  They are engrossed with no electronics devices, shiny, flash objects involved. 

It has allowed them to discover their imaginations, delve into their creative side, make connections, ask more questions, get quality answers, reflect, listen,  and truly tap into the power of their minds.  And above all appreciate this process.

By picking up a book, sketch pad, or blank story-writing paper, they've discovered the hidden joys that live when the volume is lowered and the mute button is. 

A true gift for the mind, body and soul.

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Your Journey in to ESL Learning

If you have a family member who would like to explore ESL learning you should consider checking out the ESL Ontario program at Conestoga College.

Olga had this to say about her experience: 

"My experience at Conestoga College has been wonderful. I have learned a lot. I feel more confident about myself and also I feel that I am doing something important in my life.... Knowing about different cultures is a rich experience that I have enjoyed (at Conestoga College)." Olga

Check out the amazing program perks for students:

Orientation Program 

The Orientation Program for new international students includes a tour of the campus and provides students with information about the services available at Conestoga. It is an important introduction to the College and is intended to make new students feel at home in their new surroundings.

Social Activities and Trips 

The College offers many events and activities for international students. These activities help students meet new friends, experience Canadian culture and make the most of their Conestoga College experience.

International Student Advisors 

International Student Advisors are available in the International Education Office to assist
students with: health insurance, time- tables, immigration questions, student visa extensions and much more.

There are many program choices to explore:

• English Language Studies helps you reach your language goals in preparing for work in your field or for further academic studies.
• Part-time language courses let you improve your English at a pace that fits your life right now.
• LINC (Language Instruction for Newcomers to Canada) program is for adult newcomers who are not yet Canadian citizens. This program is free of charge, provided by Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC).
• Occupation specific language training is now available for those with backgrounds as early childhood educators, health care workers, accountants, engineering professionals and workers in construction trades. These programs are free of charge, provided by Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC).
• Language that Works: various tailored language options can be arranged at the college or in the workplace.

Click here to learn more about admission requirements. 

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Points Taken

by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com

It's well underway.  The viral voyage of a most interesting disseration by Kai Nagata, a television journalist, who has worked for both of the major broadcasters in Canada.  He abruptly quit his plum job at the age of 24 and tell us exactly why in his exceptionally well-written piece called:  "Why I quit CTV News."

As an aside, Nagata worked with many of the same people I spent most of my career with, many of whom I still keep in touch with.  As such, I was able to relate to much of what he wrote. 
I don't know Kai Nagata, but would love to chat with him.  To have that much foresight at such a young age is truly commendable.

This is a must-read for everyone, media types or not.  And certainly for parents.

It really boils down to one key thing for me --- integrity.  Specifically integrity of purpose and integrity of execution.
I have my own opinions on integrity in the media, but that's really not the point here.  It's about personal integrity and how we conduct ourselves each and every day in everything we do, say and communicate to those around us.

From a parenting perspective, it can be equated to teaching kids right from wrong.  If they get that concept and apply it or at least think about applying it before making a decision (at whatever age they are), then as a parent, you've done a great job.  It's about the questioning before executing.  Think before you act.  As I tell each of my kids about 68 times a day, "don't ever stop thinking."  I have no idea if they know what that means sometimes!

Pack journalism, even after 18 years in the media, is a concept I fail to understand.  (Why in the world do I want to come back with the exact same clips and story as my colleague and competitor?  Someone help me clarify this concept, please?)  Pack journalism is so easy to partake in.  Follow the pack.  Stick you microphone in to the scrum.  Copy down the answers your colleagues are asking.  Then vomit it all onto a script or a voice-over that will closely mirror others who covered the same story.  Done.  Go home.

Seeking out a different story, the antithesis of pack journalism, or in the case of parents, teaching kids not only to think independently but to act as such cannot be understated.  Again the execution is imperative.  We can all talk about it, but when it comes to doing it ---  much more is revealed about character and conviction.

Nagata is not only coming face-to-face with the question of integrity, but has analyzed it as it relates to his profession and then decided to execute on it by quitting his job.   The ultimate --- "putting your money where you mouth is."  Or in this case, "where your pen is."

It's not always easy to stand up against the tide, to go our own way, do your own thing, disagree with the bully, say no to peer pressure and whatever else all of us --- parents and kids included - contend with.  But if it's the right thing to do then chances are you'll be able to live with yourself, sleep at night and have your principles about you when you get up the next day.

And if you achieve that, chances are high that you will be happy on your journey.

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A Story of Family

by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com

There is just so much to love about this story, so please indulge me.   The family bond piece is only the beginning.

Dashing in and out of the house last night between soccer practice, a baseball game, a soccer game, and dinner, I managed to catch a gripping piece of tv.  The Major League Baseball Home Run Derby.  Always a fan favorite that captures the attention of even the passing observer.  Being hard core sports fans in our house, there was no question about our viewing options on this night!

A truly signature storyline began emerging in what was otherwise a fairly ho-hum affair.  What's more, millions of people had a front row seat to this incredible drama.

A father pitching to his son.  49-year-old Jose Cano, a former pitcher in the major leagues lobbing baseballs at his son, 29-year-old Robinson Cano, a star shortstop for the New York Yankees, and named after Jose's idol, the great, Jackie Robinson.  No pressure there!

When Robinson was reluctant at first about asking his father to pitch to him because of "nerves".  Both Cano's exuded nothing but calm on the mound and at the plate, with the father and son team combining for 32 homeruns.

When he tied the score, father and son embraced - the old-fashioned big bear hug variety -- with Robinson saying, "I love you dad" --- plainly visible whether you have a degree in lip-reading or not.
Then came history.

With his father methodically throwing baseballs to his son, Robinson ripped his 12th homer of the final round to win the derby.  His reaction was truly priceless as he was lifted by teammates before falling into the embrace of his father.

The younger Cano was quoted as saying afterwards, "The best thing wasn't my swing.  It was th ekind of man who was throwing --- my dad.  He knows me really well."  Even in a television interview during the derby, Robinson praised his father.   How refreshing.

There are so many wonderful storylines here.   In the world of professional sports, the chances of hearing of athletes who grew up in single-family homes, who never knew their fathers, whose fathers abandoned the family, etc., are not the exception --- they are increasingly the rule.  How refreshing to have a story of a family of professional baseball players who respect each other and are demonstrative about that respect.

The relationship between many fathers and sons is not always outward or visible.  It sometimes can be downright invisible.  It's often based on what's not said, rather than what is.  How refreshing to see the Cano and Cano combination convey their respect for each other in such a profoundly public way -- verbally, physically, emotionally.

Jose Cano has played a vital role in Robinson's career, but if you watch any part of last nights' derby again, you might get the feeling that it was the first time for father and son.  The focus on each of their faces was so complete, you would have thought they were the only two in the room.

Pride was evident not only on the father's face, but on his son's as well.

And let's not forget his mom, Claribel Mercedes, also on hand to share in the family's joy.

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Don't Take No for an Answer

by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com

If I had a penny for every time my kids said 'no' to trying something new - be it a food item, clothing, activity or sport - we'd be zillionaires.   Okay, maybe just billionaires!

Truth is most kids for the most part will reject anything foreign, never-seen-before, new.  But as a parent, we cannot be deterred.

Case and point.  If I accepted all the responses of one of my children, they would never have participated in any sport --- ever.  This is the same child who this past spring loved every minute of a zany schedule that included --- ball hockey, lacrosse, soccer, baseball and oh yes, umpiring baseball as well.  I should add that this all came on the heels of hockey season which typically goes from August to April.  In fact, he actually suggested adding lacrosse --- which he adored.

Scheduling, shuttling, and the endless piles of laundry are a joy to my husband and I, if our kids are enjoying themselves, learning a new skill and learning the principles of sportsmanship, fair play and proper technique.  Which for the most part, they usually do.

Our philsophy on sports and other activities is simple --- allow all three of them to try as many things as they like and that we can afford --- expose them to a variety --- and then let them choose what they may want to focus on.

For my husand and I, 'exposure is everything'.

The point is, you cannot always go by what your kids respond.  With all due respect, they don't really know better, do they?  Gentle prodding never hurt anyone and  that's the key.  You may have to take them kicking and screaming to whatever activity the first couple of times, but if they give it a chance they will likely be pleasantly surprised!

I'm always fairly shocked when I hear parents say, "Johnny didn't want to try hockey or art class or singing or whatever."  I silently think to myself --- well that when "you, the parent needs to step in."  That is YOUR cue.
No one is suggesting force them relentlessly, but there are merits to teaching them the joys of 'trying something new' --- be it on the dinner table, or elsewhere.

Jennifer Heil, Olympic gold and silver medallist and one of the most recognized faces in sport, shares a similar story.

Jennifer Heil's Video Interview

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With Ages Comes....

by Lianne Castelino www.whereparentstalk.com
It still shocks people, even now, even after all this time.   And I am genuinely moved by the reactions - every single time.
Many years ago ---- I have no idea when.  All I remember is that I was a fairly young mom when I made 'the discovery".  No idea what precipitated it.  No one told me about it.  It was one of those serendipitous discoveries about parenting that influenced several things. 
"Children need you more as they get older."  Period.  Full stop. 
You can't imagine the reaction I get when the conversation includes this line.  The usual reaction and response is, "what?"
My humble discovery was/is this.  When children are young, parenting largely reverts around what I call "maintenance" issues --- feeding, diaper changing, overall care.  As they get older parenting becomes more about, for lack of a better term and in keeping with the alliteration (!), "mental" issues.  Communication, social skills, dialogue, physchological questions.
I remember that this line of thinking was paramount in my deciding to become an entrepreneur.  The master plan was that I wanted to be home with my children MORE as they got older.  I have taken the means to achieve that.
Those 'after-school conversations" are a gold mine.  Homework time (not always fun, but a learning ground for parent and child nonetheless), etc.
I'm not always around for each of these activities on a daily basis, but I'm there for the vast majority of them and it does make a difference.  It offers a wholly unique perspective on the child and on how to parent them.
Young parents are always mesmerized by this concept.  For that matter so are many older ones.
This is not to say that you abandon a young child and arrive on the scene when they are older.
I just believe that kids of 8 years old and up really need their parent(s) to be around not just at mealtimes, but in different situations to help support them and gently guide them with the inevitable social, emotional, physiological, and psychological issues that come up.
The happy by-product of this original discovery is being able to learn about each childs' true character, decision-making ability, personality traits, etc., that come to the fore in this 'older' years.
It's a truly wonderful discovery both about your child and yourself, as parent.

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